Most of us carry around some old hurts. For some, it’s a relationship that has ended and you can’t seem to heal. For others, it’s something you’ve done, and you can’t seem to forgive yourself. And yet others have been hurt, wounded, or abused by those you trusted.
These old hurts can keep us trapped in negative thinking and self-protective patterns of behavior—denying access to a life of abundance, success and freedom. If you are tired of being stuck in fear, bitterness or self-loathing, here are five things you can do now to begin letting go of the old stuff and start living the life you were meant to live:
1. Decide it’s time. Sound simple enough? The truth is a lot of people have a hard time answering the question: Are you willing to let go of the past? Ask yourself: How does holding on to the past still serve you? What would you lose if you truly decide to heal and move on? What would you gain?
2. Look at your thinking patterns. How often do you rehearse negative images, your own thoughts, or words that have been shared with you that make you feel like nothing? Begin now to recreate your reality by reframing your negative thinking. For some, this may mean learning a whole new way of thinking. When my clients acquire the ability to restructure their thoughts from negative to positive, they experience a tremendous shift in mood and improved positive outlook on their circumstances and their future.
3. Find a supportive person that wants the best for you-- an ally in whom you can confide. Tell your ally you’d like help and accountability on your healing journey. Tell her she has permission to re-direct you when you are slinking back into negative patterns of thinking and behavior.
4. Serve some one else. Find a way to donate your time or resources to help someone in need. Sometimes our “stucked-ness” can be a very subtle form of narcissism. Turn the focus from you to someone else.
5. Strengthen your spiritual connection. Find a power greater than yourself. Pray. Meditate. Acknowledge that changing thought patterns and forgiving ourselves and others requires a strength and power that reaches well beyond our own human capacity.